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10 unhinged customers walk into a checkout line
Weirdest shoppers ever, a diver’s miracle rescue, and TV’s tiniest therapy session. It's Friday and that's GOOD.
Greg Sullivan
November 07, 2025 • Est. Reading Time: 10 minutes
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“Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another check-out line.”
― Ann Landers
In this issue...
From super glue standoffs to caffeinated cats, welcome to the front lines of retail chaos.
I’ve always wondered if cashiers are judging me for buying frozen waffles and anxiety meds in the same trip. “Gee, I wonder which of these got him to come in today?” I imagine them thinking. But after reading Erik Barnes’ roundup of the 10 most unhinged customer encounters ever, I’m pretty sure they’ve seen much, much worse.
Like the guy who super-glued his hand to a card reader mid data-plan meltdown. Or the woman who asked if she could pour Red Bull on her cat’s food because, you know, “it has taurine.” (It does. That’s not the point. Don’t do this.)
And those are the warm-up acts. If you’ve ever worked a register or even stood in a checkout line, these tales will either traumatize or deeply validate you.
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The haunting rescue video that still gives chills.
It sounds like a Hollywood thriller, but it’s 100% real. When the Jascon-4 capsized off the coast of Nigeria in 2013, all 12 crew members were presumed dead. Then, three days later, a diver exploring the wreck in search of bodies felt something grab his hand. It was Harrison Okene, the ship’s cook, alive inside a tiny air pocket 100 feet underwater.
As Zoheb Alam reports, Okene’s survival, and the diver’s stunned reaction, were all caught on video. Even more incredible? After his rescue, Okene didn’t swear off the sea. He faced his trauma, learned to dive professionally, and now works underwater by choice. From trapped survivor to commercial diver, it’s one of the most mind-bending comebacks ever caught on camera.
“Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.”
The great thing about being a writer is that when you have a question like “I wonder what therapists think of the life tips shared by Twin Peaks’ Special Agent Dale Cooper?” you can actually go find out... and get paid for it. That’s precisely what Ryan Reed did, and what he found might make you want to pour yourself a damn fine cup of coffee.
“When we pause to notice something good, even something tiny, we're interrupting the stress response cycle.”
Cooper’s “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present” speech isn’t just quirky TV charm. Therapists say it’s basically a master class in mindfulness, micro-regulation, and self-compassion, all tucked inside one diner scene with a slice of cherry pie.
So is this beloved FBI agent a secret therapist, or just a guy who knows the power of a good shirt and a hot brew? Ryan got a handful of mental health pros to weigh in, and their answers might change how you treat yourself today.
Which show had the best advice?They sneak in therapy when you're not even looking. |
And what did we learn?
But when is your body “done”? That was the quiz question, and only about a third of you got it right. It isn’t until your twenties that all your bones fuse into the final set and your brain stops forming.
Your teens - just in time to drive and vote (4.1%)
Your twenties - ready for college life (33.8%) ✅
Your thirties - you'll need your wits to raise those kids (25.7%)
Your forties - as you finally hit your stride (36.5%)
Reader AldaVisusMC shared a bit of inspiration that might send the researchers back to check their data. “Actually, my physical body is still in good shape at the age of 84! I do I/2 hour of exercise 3 times a week, 1/2 hour of pool aerobics 3 times a week, and 1/2 hour of yoga 3 times a week. Plus I average 4000 steps a day. Mahjong and other games keep my brain healthy. I have to keep all this going as I was in Vietnam and contacted Agent Orange. No wife but a loyal dog, cat, and many friends.”
Thirty-six years ago this weekend, on November 9th, East German spokesman Günter Schabowski stepped to a routine press podium and accidentally hastened the end of the Cold War. He was meant to announce a modest easing of travel rules to West Germany; instead, misreading his briefing, he declared the immediate end of restrictions.
Almost immediately, a wave of East Berliners surged to the Bornholmer Straße crossing, and faced with the swelling crowd, border chief Harald Jäger simply raised the gate. Twenty-eight years of separation ended almost by accident; within a year, Germany was reunified and the Cold War drifted into the world’s rearview mirror.
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💬 From the group text…
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Until tomorrow…