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Baby talk, small talk, and 25 signs that make no sense
A linguist decodes toddler-speak, a three-letter trick fixes small talk, and the internet delivers 25 gloriously absurd signs.
Greg Sullivan
September 28, 2026 • Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
Happy Monday. We’re starting the week with Karen Stollznow decoding “parentese” and why your toddler’s mangled little words might be a sign of something surprisingly sophisticated. Then a three-letter method for surviving small talk, and 25 signs so absurd they loop back around to genius.
Health
Those mangled little words show the language machine is working exactly as intended.
There’s something paradoxically delightful and maddening about baby talk. You have never once heard me say “foots,” kid. Come on. Also, never stop saying it because it’s adorable. And also, it’s “feet.” But also... who’s got the cutest little footsies?!
In this GOOD Partner story by Karen Stollznow, the linguist digs into “parentese,” the instinctive sing-song speech adults use around infants. It has some fascinating overlap with what we know about early communication and literacy, and apparently humans aren’t the only audience impressed by the voice. Dogs are fans, too. But the really interesting part is what babies may be hearing inside all that exaggerated sound.
Then come the toddler classics: “goed,” “foots,” “wabbit.” Cute? Absolutely. Linguistic chaos? Maybe not. One famous experiment even recorded a baby learning hundreds of words over two years, revealing just how much give-and-take happens between children and the people around them. Those adorable mistakes may be clues that something surprisingly sophisticated is happening under the hood.
GOOD reader Melissa Straiton’s daughter found herself in Umbrella Alley in Quebec City's Petit Champlain section, Canada. If you’d made me guess where this was taken, I’d have been off by half a world; I need to find my way up north.
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When a little kid says “goed” instead of “went,” what are they doing?There’s a name for applying the grammar rule a little too enthusiastically. |
Last Week's Results
In Friday's issue, we shared why cats insist on lying on the thing you're trying to use.
And we asked: How many toes does a typical cat have? Just 21.4% of you nailed it: 18. Most cats have five toes on each front paw and four on each back paw. But some cats are born polydactyl, meaning they come equipped with a few bonus beans and can have 20, 22, or even more.
The most popular answer was actually 20, so honestly, you weren’t wildly off. Cats just found another way to make the simple answer slightly complicated.
16 (32.7%)
18 (21.4%) 🏆
20 (39.8%)
22 (6.1%)
People Skills | Courtesy of Upworthy
 | ||
Stop struggling with small talk by using the simple ARE method | ||
This will make your next party go a lot smoother. | ||
By Tod Perry | ||
Many people dread social situations because they are afraid they’ll have to make small talk. For some, it feels awkward because they’re not sure what to say and struggle to come up with something interesting. Others find small talk boring because it usually sticks to the same tired topics, such as the weather, work, or upcoming plans. | ||
Communications expert Dr. Carol Fleming developed an easy-to-remember method to make small talk more comfortable for most people, which she describes in her book It’s the Way You Say It. | ||
The ARE method is a three-step process that takes the guesswork out of small talk, reminds you to pay attention to the person you’re speaking to, and helps you develop deeper conversations. ARE stands for Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. | ||
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Culture
If the For Sale sign says “Not Haunted,” it’s haunted, right?
Have you ever seen something funny online and tried to describe it to a friend? It never works! And that’s sort of where I find myself with this one. Look, it's a listicle of funny signs. I’m not going to describe the funny signs to you. That would defeat the entire purpose of having funny signs.
What I will say is that r/funnysigns has been quietly collecting funny signs for years, and as Adam Albright-Hanna reports, the 25 best are right here. At least one involves a cat. At least one involves raccoons as a job requirement. The rest you'll just have to see for yourself.
This morning, SpaceX’s enormous Starship reached orbit for the first time, carrying 26 Starlink satellites aboard what the Associated Press calls the biggest and most powerful rocket ever built. Fittingly, another major starship launched on this date, too.
On September 28, 1987, Star Trek: The Next Generation premiered with “Encounter at Farpoint,” introducing viewers to Captain Jean-Luc Picard and a new crew aboard the USS Enterprise-D, including Data, Geordi La Forge, Worf and Dr. Beverly Crusher. The gamble of reviving Star Trek without its original cast worked. The Next Generation ran for seven seasons and helped launch decades more Trek on television and film. Apparently September 28 is just a good day to boldly go..
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Until tomorrow, enjoy a pasketti dinner as you ponder the idea of feline polydactylism.