Gas, fumes, and hot air

Farts that might save your heart, fumes that nearly stole a life, and some top-shelf grandpa wisdom that could clear your mental fog.

Author

Greg Sullivan
June 05, 2025

💨 This article stinks

You might offend those around you with your flatulence, butt but you might outlive them toot too.

Fart jokes may never win Pulitzers, but scientists at Johns Hopkins just handed them a little more credibility. Turns out the gas we all love to hate, hydrogen sulfide, does more than clear a room. It can actually help lower blood pressure.

In mouse studies, scientists cut the cheese animals were exposed to the rotten-egg-reeking compound. The results? Relaxed arteries, lowered blood pressure. And the stinkier the gas? The better the effect. Researchers believe this opens the door to future treatments for hypertension, a condition that affects nearly half of American adults and racks up $131 billion in healthcare costs every year.

Human testing is still a ways off (“More testing, Mr. Taggart?”), but early signs are promising. Even now, the humble toot has its perks. “Fart walks”, post-meal strolls that aid digestion, are having a moment. And sulfur-rich foods like beans and broccoli are already known for being heart-healthy and gut-bubbly.

So the next time someone gives you grief for passing gas, tell them, as you politely open a window, that you’re practicing preventative medicine.

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🛠️ “Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I breathe toxic fumes!”

“Then stop breathing toxic fumes.”

For 10 years, Kathi Wilson felt like she was slowly falling apart—fatigue, muscle pain, and chronic exhaustion that no doctor could explain. She had MRIs, x-rays, and enough blood to send Dracula out to get an Ozempic prescription, but the answer never came. By 2018, she needed a cane to walk.

Then she remodeled her bathroom.

Turns out, the real diagnosis was coming from inside the house: a botched water heater and furnace setup had been leaking carbon monoxide into her home for years. A contractor spotted the issue during the renovation, and once it was fixed, Wilson’s health began to return.

Though her home did have a carbon monoxide detector, it didn’t catch the leak, likely due to how the gas was being vented. That detail has sparked discussion about how even safety precautions can miss a hidden problem.

It wasn’t a medical breakthrough that saved her. It was home improvement.

And for anyone feeling mysteriously off, especially at home, it’s a reminder: sometimes it’s not your body, it’s your building. You may want to reach out to a contractor of your own.

👴 Yes, old people say wild stuff, but sometimes, they’re right

Sometimes the loudest truths come from the rocking chair

Sure, they’ll tell you phones used to be bolted to the wall and that candy bars used to actually be candy, not just protein. But buried in all that charming confusion? Some straight-up bangers of life advice.

One Redditor kicked off a goldmine of wisdom when they shared this gem from their grandpa:

“If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. The longer it takes you, the more expensive the return trip will be.”

A Redditor’s Grandpa

He wasn’t talking about trains—and hundreds of other people weren’t either, as they chimed in with the best elder advice they’d ever heard.

Among the highlights:

  • “The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason.” (Let the past go before it gets in the way of the now.)

  • “Whenever it feels like an argument is brewing, ask yourself, is this the hill I want to die on?” (And maybe zip it, because probably not.)

  • “You have two lives. The second begins when you realize you only have one.” (Mic drop.)

And that’s just half the list. There’s more where that came from, including a ladder metaphor, a lesson from Dr. King, and a reminder that nobody’s actually thinking about you as much as you think they are. Brutal. Beautiful. Kinda freeing?

And maybe call your grandma. She probably has a few zingers of her own.

From the friends group text…

Tim Burton’s Batman was released 40 years ago.* So even the film itself would relate to this post about the quiet dignity of a quadragenarian neck.

(* Not really, but I made you do the math.)